Roger's Blog
A place to put my thoughts...
Music to Soothe the Savage Beast
11/10/24 05:09 PM
I love music. It is, perhaps, my second greatest love after the love for my family and friends. Music means more to me than sports or any of the other diversions I use to fill my life. It has seen me through my worst and best times. It raises me up when I'm feeling down. It fills my soul when I'm feeling fine. It got me through one of the worst periods of my life, when I was 19 years old. It continues to bring almost perfect joy every day of my life. Music is constantly running through my head. It is my favorite hobby. I would say that my favorite activity is going to see live music, whether it's a world-renowned headliner or a local band that keeps a good beat. Music does, indeed, soothe this savage beast.
I am a hobby drummer. I wish my skills equaled the level of quality in my Alesis electronic drum set but it is unlikely they ever will. I drum because my older brother, J.D., was a drummer, and that's where my love for drumming was born. He had an acoustic drum set and was in a band, and I always wanted to have my own set with my own band. I was a pretty good drummer in grade school ("first seat" through the two years I was in the school band) but when my family moved to another town in 7th grade, I chose to end my organized drumming "career," mostly out of childish spite towards my father for moving me away from what I perceived as a lot of musical opportunities had we not moved. However, this never dampened my spirits for drumming and drummers. I finally made enough money in my career to get a drum set. I wasn't very good since I never took any lessons on a drum set, and my school band "career" was too early for utilizing drum sets. However, I set the bar low by deciding that I would keep my drum set "if I didn't suck." And I didn't suck. I was slightly above average, and that's all I needed to enjoy drumming. So, I have been drumming ever since. There are few things I enjoy more than playing along with my favorite music on my electronic drum set. I am at least "acceptable" enough to feel good about playing to the beat. Again, setting the bar low keeps my expectations low and satisfaction high.
If you ask me what type of music I like, I generally answer, "just about anything." My music collection includes rock, jazz, blues, classical, alternative, reggae, metal, rap, big band, world, bluegrass, Zydeco, R&B, soul, electronic, funk, latin, pop and even some classic country. For decades, the two types of music I claimed I'd never own was country and opera but my daughter convinced me that at least some of the songs I like sounded like country, whether or not I choose to admit it. Therefore, I've embraced my country side. I don't like much country but, I must admit, there are some old country tunes that my parents listened to that I like. Plus, I'm a Johnny Cash fan, and you have to place almost all of his music in the country genre. I still don't have any opera in my collection, and it's hard imagining myself enjoying that but I no longer say "never."
What drives me to have such varied tastes in music? First, as a drummer, I love any music with a good beat. I have found that this covers a lot of music, and it includes music from around the world. Second, my best friend through high school and college, Mark, always had a great collection of different kinds of music, and I found myself wanting to gather as much music as I could. Branching out into different genres has allowed me to widen the options to my musical happiness. The second thing I learned from Mark was to not stick with one era of music. I have since read several articles that point out how most people fall in love with music at a certain age, and that era's music follows them through the rest of their lives. That, to me, is crazy. Wonderful music is created every day. I don't subscribe to the notion that "they don't make great music any more." This statement says more about the listener's inability to adapt to "new" music than it does about any particular generation's music producers. I constantly try to explore new music to find new additions to my music list. A quick check of my iTunes/Music collection shows 14,776 songs from 785 artists. I know that's not all of my music, as I know I haven't added all the music I enjoy to this collection but it's most of the music to which I listen.
When I look at my collection, the odd thing is that most of this music has been "given" to me. No, I don't mean I've pirated all the music. I mean someone introduced me to a particular band or a particular genre, and my appreciation of (and in many cases, eventual love for) this music grew from this introduction. So, despite the fact that I bought the albums/8-track tapes/cassette tapes/CDs/digital files of all my music, I still attribute that band or genre to that person. For example, my older sister, Peggy, gave me my love for soul/R&B/Motown music. She loved Sly & the Family Stone and dozens of other artists that I enjoy to this day. At that time, no one else I knew listened to this type of music. She tried to introduce me to Led Zeppelin but, for some reason, I waited way too late in life (when I was 19!) to appreciate them. My friend, Mark, gave me Aerosmith, Genesis, UFO and lots of blues artists. A work friend, and truly good friend that I lost track of, Neil, introduced me to Southern Rock of which, up to that point in my life, I had no respect for. That all changed with Little Feat and ZZ Top. He also introduced me to Crosby, Stills and Nash (and Neil Young, both with and without CSN). My old boss, Jeff, told me one day that he thought I'd like Zydeco music, and he was absolutely right. To me, introducing someone to music you love is one of the greatest gifts you can give to another person. My dad tried to give me Big Band music but I was too young to understand that "old" music could be good. One of my greatest regrets is not letting him know how much I love the music he loved, as that appreciation didn't occur until after his death. He did take my brother and I to a concert with Buddy Rich, Gene Krupa and a third amazing drummer I can never remember in Roberts Stadium at Evansville, Indiana when I was about 5 or 6 years old. That was officially my first concert but I was simply too young to appreciate it. The good news is, as I grew to love jazz and big band music, I was able to see Buddy Rich again twice before he died. In fact, the last time was about 6 months before he died.
If there's anything I can impart to you about music, it's to experience as much of it as possible. Listen to new music with an open mind. Too many people discount a particular music genre before they give it a chance. It took several attempts before I learned to appreciate rap but it was inevitable, due to my love of a good percussive beat, even when it's created electronically. I tend to dislike some rap for the lyrical content but most rap, in my opinion, is good. No one gave me rap. I just decided one day that this was one of those genres that I had decided I didn't like. When that happens, it compels me to discover as much as I can to see if there are some artists out there that I can appreciate. Eminem was that artist for me. Rap is not for everyone. Indeed, Eminem is not for everyone. But I respect his talent and the vast majority of his lyrics.
I would also encourage you to experience more live music, even if it is just a local band. There are a lot of talented local bands! If you live in a decent-size city, your community likely offers free concerts so that you can experience a variety of music without spending any money. My wife and I were thrilled to learn that Ocala offers free community concerts during the winter months when the weather isn't as brutal (remember, I live in central Florida). I have seen and heard amazing rock, blues and latin music for no more than the price of the gas it took me to drive to a local park. There are few things in life that put a permanent smile on my face like experiencing live music.
If you know me, and feel you have a particular artist, band or genre of music of which I may not be familiar, PLEASE pass it along. It's the greatest gift you could give me, and I guarantee you that I will remember who gave me this gift for the rest of my life. I guess that makes me a music geek. It is a moniker I am proud of. I hope I can make one of you, too.
Until my next entry…
I am a hobby drummer. I wish my skills equaled the level of quality in my Alesis electronic drum set but it is unlikely they ever will. I drum because my older brother, J.D., was a drummer, and that's where my love for drumming was born. He had an acoustic drum set and was in a band, and I always wanted to have my own set with my own band. I was a pretty good drummer in grade school ("first seat" through the two years I was in the school band) but when my family moved to another town in 7th grade, I chose to end my organized drumming "career," mostly out of childish spite towards my father for moving me away from what I perceived as a lot of musical opportunities had we not moved. However, this never dampened my spirits for drumming and drummers. I finally made enough money in my career to get a drum set. I wasn't very good since I never took any lessons on a drum set, and my school band "career" was too early for utilizing drum sets. However, I set the bar low by deciding that I would keep my drum set "if I didn't suck." And I didn't suck. I was slightly above average, and that's all I needed to enjoy drumming. So, I have been drumming ever since. There are few things I enjoy more than playing along with my favorite music on my electronic drum set. I am at least "acceptable" enough to feel good about playing to the beat. Again, setting the bar low keeps my expectations low and satisfaction high.
If you ask me what type of music I like, I generally answer, "just about anything." My music collection includes rock, jazz, blues, classical, alternative, reggae, metal, rap, big band, world, bluegrass, Zydeco, R&B, soul, electronic, funk, latin, pop and even some classic country. For decades, the two types of music I claimed I'd never own was country and opera but my daughter convinced me that at least some of the songs I like sounded like country, whether or not I choose to admit it. Therefore, I've embraced my country side. I don't like much country but, I must admit, there are some old country tunes that my parents listened to that I like. Plus, I'm a Johnny Cash fan, and you have to place almost all of his music in the country genre. I still don't have any opera in my collection, and it's hard imagining myself enjoying that but I no longer say "never."
What drives me to have such varied tastes in music? First, as a drummer, I love any music with a good beat. I have found that this covers a lot of music, and it includes music from around the world. Second, my best friend through high school and college, Mark, always had a great collection of different kinds of music, and I found myself wanting to gather as much music as I could. Branching out into different genres has allowed me to widen the options to my musical happiness. The second thing I learned from Mark was to not stick with one era of music. I have since read several articles that point out how most people fall in love with music at a certain age, and that era's music follows them through the rest of their lives. That, to me, is crazy. Wonderful music is created every day. I don't subscribe to the notion that "they don't make great music any more." This statement says more about the listener's inability to adapt to "new" music than it does about any particular generation's music producers. I constantly try to explore new music to find new additions to my music list. A quick check of my iTunes/Music collection shows 14,776 songs from 785 artists. I know that's not all of my music, as I know I haven't added all the music I enjoy to this collection but it's most of the music to which I listen.
When I look at my collection, the odd thing is that most of this music has been "given" to me. No, I don't mean I've pirated all the music. I mean someone introduced me to a particular band or a particular genre, and my appreciation of (and in many cases, eventual love for) this music grew from this introduction. So, despite the fact that I bought the albums/8-track tapes/cassette tapes/CDs/digital files of all my music, I still attribute that band or genre to that person. For example, my older sister, Peggy, gave me my love for soul/R&B/Motown music. She loved Sly & the Family Stone and dozens of other artists that I enjoy to this day. At that time, no one else I knew listened to this type of music. She tried to introduce me to Led Zeppelin but, for some reason, I waited way too late in life (when I was 19!) to appreciate them. My friend, Mark, gave me Aerosmith, Genesis, UFO and lots of blues artists. A work friend, and truly good friend that I lost track of, Neil, introduced me to Southern Rock of which, up to that point in my life, I had no respect for. That all changed with Little Feat and ZZ Top. He also introduced me to Crosby, Stills and Nash (and Neil Young, both with and without CSN). My old boss, Jeff, told me one day that he thought I'd like Zydeco music, and he was absolutely right. To me, introducing someone to music you love is one of the greatest gifts you can give to another person. My dad tried to give me Big Band music but I was too young to understand that "old" music could be good. One of my greatest regrets is not letting him know how much I love the music he loved, as that appreciation didn't occur until after his death. He did take my brother and I to a concert with Buddy Rich, Gene Krupa and a third amazing drummer I can never remember in Roberts Stadium at Evansville, Indiana when I was about 5 or 6 years old. That was officially my first concert but I was simply too young to appreciate it. The good news is, as I grew to love jazz and big band music, I was able to see Buddy Rich again twice before he died. In fact, the last time was about 6 months before he died.
If there's anything I can impart to you about music, it's to experience as much of it as possible. Listen to new music with an open mind. Too many people discount a particular music genre before they give it a chance. It took several attempts before I learned to appreciate rap but it was inevitable, due to my love of a good percussive beat, even when it's created electronically. I tend to dislike some rap for the lyrical content but most rap, in my opinion, is good. No one gave me rap. I just decided one day that this was one of those genres that I had decided I didn't like. When that happens, it compels me to discover as much as I can to see if there are some artists out there that I can appreciate. Eminem was that artist for me. Rap is not for everyone. Indeed, Eminem is not for everyone. But I respect his talent and the vast majority of his lyrics.
I would also encourage you to experience more live music, even if it is just a local band. There are a lot of talented local bands! If you live in a decent-size city, your community likely offers free concerts so that you can experience a variety of music without spending any money. My wife and I were thrilled to learn that Ocala offers free community concerts during the winter months when the weather isn't as brutal (remember, I live in central Florida). I have seen and heard amazing rock, blues and latin music for no more than the price of the gas it took me to drive to a local park. There are few things in life that put a permanent smile on my face like experiencing live music.
If you know me, and feel you have a particular artist, band or genre of music of which I may not be familiar, PLEASE pass it along. It's the greatest gift you could give me, and I guarantee you that I will remember who gave me this gift for the rest of my life. I guess that makes me a music geek. It is a moniker I am proud of. I hope I can make one of you, too.
Until my next entry…
Well, I had a good run...
11/09/24 10:29 AM
I made 8 posts in a row before missing my monthly deadline. My favorite quote about deadlines is from one of my favorite authors, Douglas Adams (The Salmon of Doubt: Hitchhiking the Galaxy One Last Time):
“I love deadlines. I love the whooshing noise they make as they go by."
Considering no one is reading these posts, I suppose it is unhealthy to give myself a hard time about missing some deadlines. I suppose I can hang my hat on the fact that I have continued to update the website in other sections on a regular basis but that doesn't include this section. I can make lots of excuses about why I missed my deadlines, paramount to all the fact that I'm retired. Nevertheless, I am not happy I've failed to continue to make blog entries and promise to endeavor to keep the blogs coming every month. We'll see how that works out. I promise to at least complete a blog for November within the next two days, and then we'll see how the rest goes.
Until my next entry…
“I love deadlines. I love the whooshing noise they make as they go by."
Considering no one is reading these posts, I suppose it is unhealthy to give myself a hard time about missing some deadlines. I suppose I can hang my hat on the fact that I have continued to update the website in other sections on a regular basis but that doesn't include this section. I can make lots of excuses about why I missed my deadlines, paramount to all the fact that I'm retired. Nevertheless, I am not happy I've failed to continue to make blog entries and promise to endeavor to keep the blogs coming every month. We'll see how that works out. I promise to at least complete a blog for November within the next two days, and then we'll see how the rest goes.
Until my next entry…
Old People...They're the Worst!
08/07/24 03:39 PM
When it was time to start looking for where we would live in Florida after retiring, I focused on 55+ communities for many reasons. First, I liked the idea of living with other retirees, knowing we'd have more in common with our neighbors in such a community. Second, the communities we looked at all had community centers and facilities that allowed me to more easily maintain an active lifestyle, such as pools, hot tubs, pickleball courts, pool tables and ping pong tables. Third, I thought that if I died first, Maurica would find more support in such a community than in a regular neighborhood. Fourth, we wouldn't have to worry about screaming children early in the morning or wild parties with young couples late at night. In a word, quiet. Overall, I saw lots of benefits of locating around other old people. Fortunately, we have found ourselves in a very friendly community, and I have no regrets for this strategy.
However, since there are multiple 55+ communities in my area, I interact with lots of retired people in my neighborhood stores and doctor offices and, I must say, there are a LOT of angry, bitter old people out there. Everyone has a bad day but, for the most part, I walk around in a very good mood. Every day I wake up and realize I don't have to go to work today. For the most part, I get to do what I want, when I want. Not every retired person has this opportunity but the vast majority of them do. So why do so many old people I see around town walk around with a frown or scowl on their face? Granted, some of them are going through medical situations that may not be any fun, so I give a certain percentage of them the benefit of the doubt. But so many of these angry people seem to be in good health, at least in good physical health. So what gives?
Today, I was at a grocery store and a woman next to me at the self-checkout counter had a major meltdown for no apparent reason. She began reading out loud the entire message on the screen that informed her that an attendant would be with her shortly. She started yelling, to no one in particular, "I'm not an idiot! Why isn't this working? This is bull****! This computer isn't working! This is a stupid computer!" First, I would question whether or not she was an idiot by the fact that (a) she needed to read the message out loud to understand it, (b) she was yelling at an inanimate object, and (c) she was freaking out because this was causing a slight delay in her life. She then proceeded to berate the worker that came over to help her, continuing to cuss at the inanimate object she was completely incapable of operating. During her rant, she informed everyone around her that "I always have problems with these computers!" Why in the world would you continue to go to the self-checkout counter if you have proven to yourself that you cannot use them? If that's not an indictment of idiotic behavior, it at least lacks wisdom, something a woman her age should not be so quick to display to everyone within earshot. It's no wonder that most workers cringe when they have to deal with old people like this. Unfortunately, the only people she apologized to was the gentleman on the other side of her, although saying she was sorry made no sense, due to the fact that this was all a willful act on her part. I wish this was an unusual situation but I have experienced far too many instances like this since moving to this area.
I simply don't understand why the first reaction from some older people to situations like this is rage. How about counting to ten? How about taking a deep breath? How about beginning with some personal responsibility? How about realizing that the people who are trying to help you with something you don't understand don't deserve your anger but, rather, your gratitude? I have made mistakes at the self-checkout counter before, and I always apologize to the worker that comes over, usually making a joke about being an old person dealing with computers. Almost every time, they are happy to help, and we enjoy a brief, healthy human interaction.
Mind you, the vast majority of people I come in contact with in our community seem to be happy, well-adjusted individuals that don't show their darker side at the drop of a hat, so I'm hoping these angry people are from the other communities in the area but there's no way of knowing. Most of the people I meet in my community have been through the variety of activities available, so perhaps these people don't act like that because those of us who remain "active" are, in general, happier people. Maybe these unhappy people spend all day in their homes with nothing to do and no one to share their day with. Maybe they were unhappy as young people and this is simply their next ugly stage. I don't know but I am starting to understand why old people get a bad rap from younger people. It's unfortunate that these are the type of incidents that stand out in their minds because I don't believe that's the mindset of most retired people in Florida. However, if the worker who dealt with this lady had three good encounters with old people today, the only one that will stand out will be the hateful one she had to deal with.
I realize that part of this problem is due to the fact that there is a lot of general rage in our society right now. We have drawn lines politically, economically and socially to separate ourselves from each other, and some of us have forgotten how to treat "others" like decent human beings should. I'm willing to give younger people a pass because they have the worries of work, marriage, children, the future, etc., but many of those worries are over for retirees or are at least are much less of an issue, so I'm less patient with them.
Personally, I'm happy to stay out of the way of those who haven't retired, donating as much blood as I can and, in general, trying to be as kind as I can to those around me. I don't always succeed but I always try. So do most of the retirees I interact with. It's just that small percentage of those who choose to be cranky, angry, hateful people. For those people, I offer a challenge. Remember how YOU felt about old people when you were young? It, too, was likely based on your interactions with a limited number of cranky, angry old people. My challenge is simple. Try not to be THAT old person.
Until my next entry…
However, since there are multiple 55+ communities in my area, I interact with lots of retired people in my neighborhood stores and doctor offices and, I must say, there are a LOT of angry, bitter old people out there. Everyone has a bad day but, for the most part, I walk around in a very good mood. Every day I wake up and realize I don't have to go to work today. For the most part, I get to do what I want, when I want. Not every retired person has this opportunity but the vast majority of them do. So why do so many old people I see around town walk around with a frown or scowl on their face? Granted, some of them are going through medical situations that may not be any fun, so I give a certain percentage of them the benefit of the doubt. But so many of these angry people seem to be in good health, at least in good physical health. So what gives?
Today, I was at a grocery store and a woman next to me at the self-checkout counter had a major meltdown for no apparent reason. She began reading out loud the entire message on the screen that informed her that an attendant would be with her shortly. She started yelling, to no one in particular, "I'm not an idiot! Why isn't this working? This is bull****! This computer isn't working! This is a stupid computer!" First, I would question whether or not she was an idiot by the fact that (a) she needed to read the message out loud to understand it, (b) she was yelling at an inanimate object, and (c) she was freaking out because this was causing a slight delay in her life. She then proceeded to berate the worker that came over to help her, continuing to cuss at the inanimate object she was completely incapable of operating. During her rant, she informed everyone around her that "I always have problems with these computers!" Why in the world would you continue to go to the self-checkout counter if you have proven to yourself that you cannot use them? If that's not an indictment of idiotic behavior, it at least lacks wisdom, something a woman her age should not be so quick to display to everyone within earshot. It's no wonder that most workers cringe when they have to deal with old people like this. Unfortunately, the only people she apologized to was the gentleman on the other side of her, although saying she was sorry made no sense, due to the fact that this was all a willful act on her part. I wish this was an unusual situation but I have experienced far too many instances like this since moving to this area.
I simply don't understand why the first reaction from some older people to situations like this is rage. How about counting to ten? How about taking a deep breath? How about beginning with some personal responsibility? How about realizing that the people who are trying to help you with something you don't understand don't deserve your anger but, rather, your gratitude? I have made mistakes at the self-checkout counter before, and I always apologize to the worker that comes over, usually making a joke about being an old person dealing with computers. Almost every time, they are happy to help, and we enjoy a brief, healthy human interaction.
Mind you, the vast majority of people I come in contact with in our community seem to be happy, well-adjusted individuals that don't show their darker side at the drop of a hat, so I'm hoping these angry people are from the other communities in the area but there's no way of knowing. Most of the people I meet in my community have been through the variety of activities available, so perhaps these people don't act like that because those of us who remain "active" are, in general, happier people. Maybe these unhappy people spend all day in their homes with nothing to do and no one to share their day with. Maybe they were unhappy as young people and this is simply their next ugly stage. I don't know but I am starting to understand why old people get a bad rap from younger people. It's unfortunate that these are the type of incidents that stand out in their minds because I don't believe that's the mindset of most retired people in Florida. However, if the worker who dealt with this lady had three good encounters with old people today, the only one that will stand out will be the hateful one she had to deal with.
I realize that part of this problem is due to the fact that there is a lot of general rage in our society right now. We have drawn lines politically, economically and socially to separate ourselves from each other, and some of us have forgotten how to treat "others" like decent human beings should. I'm willing to give younger people a pass because they have the worries of work, marriage, children, the future, etc., but many of those worries are over for retirees or are at least are much less of an issue, so I'm less patient with them.
Personally, I'm happy to stay out of the way of those who haven't retired, donating as much blood as I can and, in general, trying to be as kind as I can to those around me. I don't always succeed but I always try. So do most of the retirees I interact with. It's just that small percentage of those who choose to be cranky, angry, hateful people. For those people, I offer a challenge. Remember how YOU felt about old people when you were young? It, too, was likely based on your interactions with a limited number of cranky, angry old people. My challenge is simple. Try not to be THAT old person.
Until my next entry…
Retirement
07/01/24 05:43 PM
On August 11th, 2024, I retired from a career in restaurant supervision. For a lot of reasons, it was time.
My mother and father were strong believers in their children having jobs long before you reached the age of 16, which is when many of the youth in my era got their first job. They felt you should learn to be financially independent as quickly as you could. They felt there were many important lessons you learned in life from the workplace. More than anything, they wanted their children to quickly learn how to manage money by developing a budget and learning to save. My first job was at 10 years of age. I got a job picking up trash at the drive-in movie theater where my mom was working as a secretary. Every Saturday morning, my mom would drive me to the theater's parking lot, and I would join an elderly couple with picking up all the trash left from Friday night's shows. This was a pretty terrible job but there weren't a lot of job market options for 10-year-olds, so I felt fortunate that someone would at least give me a paycheck at that age. To say the least, I learned a LOT about life with that first job. If you can imagine all the interesting and disgusting things that people would throw out of their vehicles, you probably aren't even scratching the surface on how bad things could be. Nevertheless, I got a paycheck, which meant I had to create a budget for my "expenses." No, my parents didn't charge me for rent, food or utilities, but I was given some clear guidelines on how this money was meant to be spent. 50% of my paycheck went to my savings account. This was to eventually pay for a car, once I was old enough, and any other large purchases I might have in my future. At this point, most 10-year-olds of my time didn't think about the possibility of college but my parents knew that, whatever my future held, having a savings account would be the key to my future.
If it seems like this was a clear violations of child labor laws and that my parents did something wrong, understand that I wanted to have a job at 10. I wanted to become independent as quickly as possible. I even wanted to have a savings account, mostly so that I could buy my first car as soon as I obtained my driver's license at 16. However, I will admit that I hated seeing 50% of what I made go into my savings account, while I was only initially allowed to spend 10% of my paycheck on buying "whatever I wanted." I also missed out on some serious "Saturday cartoon years." However, I am extremely grateful to my parents for making me save at a young age. However, that eventually had some negative side effects once I actually did get out on my own.
I had jobs from that point in my life on, so when I retired at 62, I had 52 years in the workplace. Granted, when I was 10, I only worked one day a week. However, as I got older, I worked more and more hours until, by the time I was 16, I was working between 30-40 hours per week between two different jobs. Of course, that was in addition to going to high school like everyone else (and still getting pretty good grades). That did allow me to buy my own cars from the time I could drive, and it allowed me to pay for almost all of my costs when I began my college career at Indiana University. I was very proud of these things. I also was able to buy most things that I wanted at a pretty young age, and I always liked that because I had bought into consumerism pretty strongly. My particular weakness was music, as I had a relatively large collection of albums that provided me with a lot of pleasure. It also allowed me to leave home for good as soon as I began my freshman year at IU. I vowed that I would never live with my parents again, and I held true to that promise to myself, despite having the normal struggles that all young people experience when they leave the nest.
The downside to paying for my own college education was that there was a lot of pressure on me to succeed because it was on my own dime and, if I failed, I wouldn't have much in savings to recover with. So, my work week increased to over 40 hours while I was in college. This made it even more difficult to succeed because that meant I had less time for studying. However, I still managed to make acceptable grades, so I was still on track to reach my goal of becoming an accountant. Unfortunately, as I worked my butt off that first year at IU, I started questioning whether accounting was truly the career I wanted. I was, and still am, very good with numbers, and my father provided me with what I later realized was an incredible understanding of how businesses work at a young age, so it seemed like a natural extension of my strengths. What I questioned was whether or not I wanted a "desk job" for the rest of my life. Oddly enough, that's what my later career years ended up being but at that time, I panicked. First, I was worried about all the money I had already spent on my first year of college, especially if this wasn't the right career. Second, I was the first person in my family who went to college, and I had no idea that changing your major was a common occurrence, and nothing to be concerned about. My panic resulted in having a tough conversation with my parents about temporarily dropping out of college while I worked out what I wanted to do. That conversation ended up being less difficult than I anticipated, and I wonder if my father really wanted me to go to college based on his reaction.
At the time, I was supporting my educational and living costs with a delivery job at Domino's Pizza, back when they had only about 400 stores nationwide. My manager had continually tried to talk me into entering the management program because he felt I would be a good manager and because there was a tremendous opportunity to open your own franchise. I decided that, for the time being, I would enter the management program and explore my future options. I found that I truly enjoyed being in management. I felt I could become a better manager than the ones I had worked for, and I enjoyed the hard work that the Domino's system encouraged. At the same time, I met my future wife through a fellow worker. Debbie was a pizza maker I worked with, and she introduced me to her sister, Maurica. We became friends and, over time, I decided that I wanted to pursue more than a friendship with Maurica, and we eventually married. This ended up being one of the best turn of events in my life, as I still love Maurica, and we are still best friends. Over time, I decided I did not want to open my own franchise but I still enjoyed management. This led to more hours. I was working over sixty hours a week but I was happy with what I was earning, and I had developed a strong work ethic from my parents' upbringing. I learned to work hard and play hard, which helped justify the hours I was working.
Over time, I was given upper management opportunities which led to even more hours. At one point, the Domino's Pizza franchisee for whom I worked gave me a "4000 Plus" award. This award was an acknowledgment that, over the course of one year, I had worked over 4,000 hours, averaging over 80 hours a week! At the time, it was a badge of honor. In reality, I was really enjoying my career, so putting in the hours was not as hard for me as it may have seemed. However, as I became less happy working for Domino's, the hours became a true burden. Maurica had given birth to our daughter, and I was unhappy with the number of hours my job offered me to spend time with my family. I eventually went to work for an independent pizza company in Bloomington, a city I had come to love from my IU days, where I could work more reasonable, yet still heavy, hours. Over the next two decades, I continued to enjoy working in a non-corporate environment, and we achieved a lot of financial goals that I am very proud of. Then, COVID hit, and things turned upside down. The owner and I agreed that we needed to keep our stores open and do all we could to stay in business. We all know how many independent restaurants didn't survive COVID. While we achieved our goal, and then some, the next 2 years were very hard for me. It seemed like there was no break from work. We were one of the few ways people could get food, so we were extremely busy. However, customers seemed to get more demanding and less understanding. While most people were sitting at home getting paid not to work, those of us in foodservice were being over-worked with little appreciation of our situation. I am certain that, during this period, I was experiencing a minor mental breakdown. Likely, it was from decades of working too many hours, putting my job first too many times. In 2022, my situation at work worsened, so I set up a plan to retire from my position on my 62nd birthday.
Due to my mental and physical fatigue, I felt it was time to pass the torch to the next generation of management, and I was happy with the person who was going to take over for me. I had one last project before I left, and by working right up until a few hours after my normal quitting time on my last day, I completed the project and was ready to retire. It is a decision I have not, and likely will not, regret. Some people struggle with retirement because a lot of their identity is based on their career. Based on my history of throwing myself completely into my career, some may think I was a likely candidate for this problem. However, I knew this would never be the case, and it has not. All of those years putting my career first, I always dreamed of a day when I could do "what I wanted, when I wanted." That is now the life I lead.
Since our daughter lives in Florida, Maurica and I agreed that we needed to move to Florida once I retired. We were fortunate enough to sell our house for a good price quickly, so in December of 2023, we moved to Ocala, FL. I absolutely love the location where we are located. We live in a 55+ community located right on a major thoroughfare, so we are within a 5 minute drive of groceries, supplies and doctors. The weather is hot but, since losing all the weight I have, I now prefer heat over cold, so the extreme heat of summer in Florida is quite bearable. While we will truly miss Bloomington and the great friends we made, I am thrilled with the next chapter in our life. We get to avoid the cold (and the snow and the ice). We get to see our daughter and son-in-law anytime we like. I get to play ping pong four times a week in our active community. And, through the "magic" of VR, I get to play golf and ping pong multiple times a week with great friends, as if we were in the same room. All in all, I couldn't be happier with my life. It makes all the hard work I gave to my career over the years worth it. I owe my success over the years to too many people to mention. Over the years, I've had the pleasure of working with awesome people who advanced both their and my career. If you were kind enough to work with me, thank you! My memory isn't good enough to remember everyone, so I don't want to provide a partial list in fear of leaving a lot of people out. Just know that, if I worked with you, I enjoyed it, and I wish you the same happiness that I am now allowed to enjoy.
Until my next entry…
My mother and father were strong believers in their children having jobs long before you reached the age of 16, which is when many of the youth in my era got their first job. They felt you should learn to be financially independent as quickly as you could. They felt there were many important lessons you learned in life from the workplace. More than anything, they wanted their children to quickly learn how to manage money by developing a budget and learning to save. My first job was at 10 years of age. I got a job picking up trash at the drive-in movie theater where my mom was working as a secretary. Every Saturday morning, my mom would drive me to the theater's parking lot, and I would join an elderly couple with picking up all the trash left from Friday night's shows. This was a pretty terrible job but there weren't a lot of job market options for 10-year-olds, so I felt fortunate that someone would at least give me a paycheck at that age. To say the least, I learned a LOT about life with that first job. If you can imagine all the interesting and disgusting things that people would throw out of their vehicles, you probably aren't even scratching the surface on how bad things could be. Nevertheless, I got a paycheck, which meant I had to create a budget for my "expenses." No, my parents didn't charge me for rent, food or utilities, but I was given some clear guidelines on how this money was meant to be spent. 50% of my paycheck went to my savings account. This was to eventually pay for a car, once I was old enough, and any other large purchases I might have in my future. At this point, most 10-year-olds of my time didn't think about the possibility of college but my parents knew that, whatever my future held, having a savings account would be the key to my future.
If it seems like this was a clear violations of child labor laws and that my parents did something wrong, understand that I wanted to have a job at 10. I wanted to become independent as quickly as possible. I even wanted to have a savings account, mostly so that I could buy my first car as soon as I obtained my driver's license at 16. However, I will admit that I hated seeing 50% of what I made go into my savings account, while I was only initially allowed to spend 10% of my paycheck on buying "whatever I wanted." I also missed out on some serious "Saturday cartoon years." However, I am extremely grateful to my parents for making me save at a young age. However, that eventually had some negative side effects once I actually did get out on my own.
I had jobs from that point in my life on, so when I retired at 62, I had 52 years in the workplace. Granted, when I was 10, I only worked one day a week. However, as I got older, I worked more and more hours until, by the time I was 16, I was working between 30-40 hours per week between two different jobs. Of course, that was in addition to going to high school like everyone else (and still getting pretty good grades). That did allow me to buy my own cars from the time I could drive, and it allowed me to pay for almost all of my costs when I began my college career at Indiana University. I was very proud of these things. I also was able to buy most things that I wanted at a pretty young age, and I always liked that because I had bought into consumerism pretty strongly. My particular weakness was music, as I had a relatively large collection of albums that provided me with a lot of pleasure. It also allowed me to leave home for good as soon as I began my freshman year at IU. I vowed that I would never live with my parents again, and I held true to that promise to myself, despite having the normal struggles that all young people experience when they leave the nest.
The downside to paying for my own college education was that there was a lot of pressure on me to succeed because it was on my own dime and, if I failed, I wouldn't have much in savings to recover with. So, my work week increased to over 40 hours while I was in college. This made it even more difficult to succeed because that meant I had less time for studying. However, I still managed to make acceptable grades, so I was still on track to reach my goal of becoming an accountant. Unfortunately, as I worked my butt off that first year at IU, I started questioning whether accounting was truly the career I wanted. I was, and still am, very good with numbers, and my father provided me with what I later realized was an incredible understanding of how businesses work at a young age, so it seemed like a natural extension of my strengths. What I questioned was whether or not I wanted a "desk job" for the rest of my life. Oddly enough, that's what my later career years ended up being but at that time, I panicked. First, I was worried about all the money I had already spent on my first year of college, especially if this wasn't the right career. Second, I was the first person in my family who went to college, and I had no idea that changing your major was a common occurrence, and nothing to be concerned about. My panic resulted in having a tough conversation with my parents about temporarily dropping out of college while I worked out what I wanted to do. That conversation ended up being less difficult than I anticipated, and I wonder if my father really wanted me to go to college based on his reaction.
At the time, I was supporting my educational and living costs with a delivery job at Domino's Pizza, back when they had only about 400 stores nationwide. My manager had continually tried to talk me into entering the management program because he felt I would be a good manager and because there was a tremendous opportunity to open your own franchise. I decided that, for the time being, I would enter the management program and explore my future options. I found that I truly enjoyed being in management. I felt I could become a better manager than the ones I had worked for, and I enjoyed the hard work that the Domino's system encouraged. At the same time, I met my future wife through a fellow worker. Debbie was a pizza maker I worked with, and she introduced me to her sister, Maurica. We became friends and, over time, I decided that I wanted to pursue more than a friendship with Maurica, and we eventually married. This ended up being one of the best turn of events in my life, as I still love Maurica, and we are still best friends. Over time, I decided I did not want to open my own franchise but I still enjoyed management. This led to more hours. I was working over sixty hours a week but I was happy with what I was earning, and I had developed a strong work ethic from my parents' upbringing. I learned to work hard and play hard, which helped justify the hours I was working.
Over time, I was given upper management opportunities which led to even more hours. At one point, the Domino's Pizza franchisee for whom I worked gave me a "4000 Plus" award. This award was an acknowledgment that, over the course of one year, I had worked over 4,000 hours, averaging over 80 hours a week! At the time, it was a badge of honor. In reality, I was really enjoying my career, so putting in the hours was not as hard for me as it may have seemed. However, as I became less happy working for Domino's, the hours became a true burden. Maurica had given birth to our daughter, and I was unhappy with the number of hours my job offered me to spend time with my family. I eventually went to work for an independent pizza company in Bloomington, a city I had come to love from my IU days, where I could work more reasonable, yet still heavy, hours. Over the next two decades, I continued to enjoy working in a non-corporate environment, and we achieved a lot of financial goals that I am very proud of. Then, COVID hit, and things turned upside down. The owner and I agreed that we needed to keep our stores open and do all we could to stay in business. We all know how many independent restaurants didn't survive COVID. While we achieved our goal, and then some, the next 2 years were very hard for me. It seemed like there was no break from work. We were one of the few ways people could get food, so we were extremely busy. However, customers seemed to get more demanding and less understanding. While most people were sitting at home getting paid not to work, those of us in foodservice were being over-worked with little appreciation of our situation. I am certain that, during this period, I was experiencing a minor mental breakdown. Likely, it was from decades of working too many hours, putting my job first too many times. In 2022, my situation at work worsened, so I set up a plan to retire from my position on my 62nd birthday.
Due to my mental and physical fatigue, I felt it was time to pass the torch to the next generation of management, and I was happy with the person who was going to take over for me. I had one last project before I left, and by working right up until a few hours after my normal quitting time on my last day, I completed the project and was ready to retire. It is a decision I have not, and likely will not, regret. Some people struggle with retirement because a lot of their identity is based on their career. Based on my history of throwing myself completely into my career, some may think I was a likely candidate for this problem. However, I knew this would never be the case, and it has not. All of those years putting my career first, I always dreamed of a day when I could do "what I wanted, when I wanted." That is now the life I lead.
Since our daughter lives in Florida, Maurica and I agreed that we needed to move to Florida once I retired. We were fortunate enough to sell our house for a good price quickly, so in December of 2023, we moved to Ocala, FL. I absolutely love the location where we are located. We live in a 55+ community located right on a major thoroughfare, so we are within a 5 minute drive of groceries, supplies and doctors. The weather is hot but, since losing all the weight I have, I now prefer heat over cold, so the extreme heat of summer in Florida is quite bearable. While we will truly miss Bloomington and the great friends we made, I am thrilled with the next chapter in our life. We get to avoid the cold (and the snow and the ice). We get to see our daughter and son-in-law anytime we like. I get to play ping pong four times a week in our active community. And, through the "magic" of VR, I get to play golf and ping pong multiple times a week with great friends, as if we were in the same room. All in all, I couldn't be happier with my life. It makes all the hard work I gave to my career over the years worth it. I owe my success over the years to too many people to mention. Over the years, I've had the pleasure of working with awesome people who advanced both their and my career. If you were kind enough to work with me, thank you! My memory isn't good enough to remember everyone, so I don't want to provide a partial list in fear of leaving a lot of people out. Just know that, if I worked with you, I enjoyed it, and I wish you the same happiness that I am now allowed to enjoy.
Until my next entry…
Losing Weight
06/08/24 02:37 PM
Toward the end of my career, I started promising myself that I would lose weight after I retired. I had ballooned to over 200 pounds (finally peaking at 212 pounds!), my eating habits had gotten progressively worse, and I struggled with simple activities during the summer months. For many years, I had justified my terrible health habits with the amount of hours I worked and the stress of the job, so I had convinced myself that, once I retired, I would have the time and motivation to lose the extra weight. This became even more critical once Maurica and I made the decision to move to Florida when I retired. I knew the Florida summer heat would be an even greater challenge to my weight. However, as I approached retirement, I started to question whether or not I was just kidding myself and wondered if I truly had the drive to lose weight I needed to lose. Therefore, I decided to start the weight loss program before I retired. I felt it was important to prove to myself that I had the discipline to take the actions needed to lose weight. If I couldn't show some progress now, the likelihood of my success later would be low. Now it was time to figure out how to lose the weight.
I tried to attack this as logically as I could because I felt this was the only way for me to achieve my goal. While I am not always logical, I do try to base my actions on logic. First, I needed to set my goal. I remembered that I was "around 145 pounds" when I was in college. Therefore, I felt that a good goal weight for my age (at the time, approaching 61) would be 150 pounds. That was the easy part. The most important part was to develop a strategy that would not only allow me to lose the weight but to keep the weight off for the rest of my life. I had no desire to lose the weight and, as so often happens, slowly gain the weight back over time. It was important for me to be honest with myself. I knew that dieting was not going to work for me. I had tried diets in the past, and I never experienced any significant weight loss with that strategy. I determined that I needed to exercise the weight off. Why did I choose what seems like an even less likely strategy? Even as out of shape as I was, I still enjoyed physical activity. I liked working hard enough to sweat, even though my excessive weight made this a reality with the lowest level of physicality. However, I also knew that running or going to a gym would not be viable options, at least for a while, given my excess weight would likely be tough on my knees and legs. In theory, I needed to find a way to "play" and burn the calories off. Since I have always considered myself an "adult child," I felt that this strategy could work for me long term, so I started looking at ways to play that would help me lose the weight without the need to diet. Basically, I wanted to burn the calories off so I could continue to eat as I wanted. I decided to start my weight loss plan on March 19, 2022.
After considering many options, I started looking hard at using virtual reality. It seemed like there were multiple "exercise apps" that offered both a fun way to lose the weight but also provide a game environment which I felt was critical to staying with this process. I talked to Maurica about it and, fortunately, she agreed to let me spend a fair amount of money on an Oculus Quest and a few apps to give it a try. For a variety of reasons, and because I'm cheap, I decided to use PowerBeats VR as my primary exercising app. It was a good decision because, to this day, I truly enjoy using this app. The basic idea is that you exercise to the beat of music. Your goal is to hit targets with your fist, follow "trails" with your hands and move around, avoiding obstacles that come at you, all while keeping the beat of the music. As a wannabe drummer, that was right up my alley. At first, my only option was the music supplied with the app (what I would call "electronic music," which I enjoy). However, this app also allows you two different ways to add your own music, and this took the app to a whole new level for me! In no time, I had over 100 different songs to which I was exercising! I was having a blast but, more importantly, I was losing weight. Initially, it was 3-4 pounds per week but it leveled off to around 2 pounds per week. This was exactly what I needed! I needed to prove to myself that (1) I had the motivation to stay with this plan, and (2) I had found a plan that could work.
My first sessions were 30 minutes and, let me tell you, I was completely exhausted at the end of these sessions. The app tracks the approximate calories burned, and I was burning around 250 calories per session. I worked out a few times a week but quickly moved to four times a week, which meant I was burning around 1,000 calories a week. This was a good start. Within a few weeks, I had moved my sessions up to an hour at a time, so I was doubling the amount of calories I was burning. Eventually, I moved to 90-minute sessions, which resulted in burning 750 calories per session, four times per week. Due to the success I was having, I would sometimes do five sessions per week. The weight was coming off, and this provided even more motivation to keep going.
Then, a funny thing happened, and I believe this directly related to the success I was having with my exercise routine. For the first time in my life, I was motivated to change my diet to improve the likelihood of losing all the weight and get to my goal. I began realizing that, eventually, I would be too old to exercise at this level, so I knew the only logical thing to do would be to develop a combination of an exercise regiment and a diet that I could maintain for the rest of my life. I replaced Big Red with iced tea, which eliminated a lot of calories. I also worked to eliminate almost all of the sweets in my life. I decided that the rest of my diet would primarily focus on reduced calorie intake. I set my goal at 1500 calories per day. In the beginning, I worked very hard to avoid any lapses in this goal. Occasionally, I had bad days but the success I had already experienced was enough motivation to get right back on track and stay with the low calorie plan.
The next part of my success came from a friend named Mark. We were talking one day, and I told him I was working on losing weight. Mark has always stayed in better shape than me, so he suggested that we maintain an online Google spreadsheet that tracked our weight loss, as he was interested in losing a few more pounds himself. He also shared with me that his goal was to reach 145 pounds. Since this was my weight from college, I decided I would drop my original weight loss goal from 150 to 145. This strategy turned out to be another strong motivator in keeping me committed to my goal, and I added two more friends to our weekly weigh-in. Every week, we would record our current weight, showing us how much weight we lost (or gained). It became a new way for me to focus my attention on achieving success. For 20 straight weeks, I recorded a weight loss before I had my first gain, when I gained almost two pounds. During this period, I went from 197.8 pounds to 154.2 pounds. However, I was so close to my goal of 145 pounds that I pushed hard those last few weeks, increasing my workouts to six days a week. On October 29, 2022, six months after I began my weight lost program, I achieved my goal, weighing in at 143.6 pounds. From my beginning weight of 212.2 pounds, I had lost 68.6 pounds in just over seven months!
Now I had a new test; could I keep the weight off? Losing that much weight is not easy but I knew that the real challenge would be to keep the weight off for the rest of my life. While the Google spreadsheet eventually became my solo project, it has provided adequate motivation (combined with my new found desire to stay as healthy as possible) to continue to monitor my weight and weigh in every week. To be honest, I have since decided that 145 pounds is too low (along with prodding from Maurica), so my lifetime goal is now to stay between 150 and 155 pounds. I also had a brief, stressful period right before I retired where I focused less on my weight and more on my mental health. However, I have met this goal most weeks to this day. I sometimes go over 155 but I'm usually back within my goal within 1-2 weeks. I try to give myself a break when that happens because I know I will be back on track and, so far, I have been. I have maintained this weight for over 19 months, to date, and I don't show any signs of letting up. My weight loss has given me a new life that blends well with retirement.
So, what have I gained through this process? For one, I was very happy to learn that I have the discipline needed to achieve and maintain this goal. To be honest, I doubted this when I began this process. I felt I had become too comfortable with life and, above all, that I lacked the type of discipline needed to attain this goal. Second, I am amazed at the level of stamina I have since losing the weight. I rarely become tired when doing any sort of physical activity. Granted, my age means that I am usually ready to go to bed at the end of every day. However, I have the energy to do whatever I want and usually for a lot longer than the average person. This has added much to my life. Third, I feel healthier than I have ever felt, despite my age. For the first time in my life, I want to have regular doctor visits and, so far, my doctor feels I am in pretty good shape, so I'm hoping that will result in a long, happy rest of my life. Of course, there are no guarantees when it comes to that, and I will be happy with any number of years I'm fortunate enough to achieve. Fourth, I can survive the summer Florida heat and humidity. I don't love it but I can survive it.
If I can be so bold, I'd like to share what I've learned through this process so that anyone who reads this who has made this decision might learn something from my experience. Obviously, this is based on my experiences. Your mileage may vary. First, you have to be the person motivated enough to commit to weight loss. No one else can make this happen; not your most beloved family members, not doctors trying to save your life, no one. To be frank, I couldn't care less about losing weight until around February of 2022. That is why all my previous attempts at losing weight and living a healthier life failed. It wasn't until it was important to me that I could expect any level of success.
Second, I honestly don't believe it matters what you do to lose weight, be it an exercise regiment or a diet or both, as long as you find a way to stay with it. That's the hardest part; finding the motivation to stay with it. What I haven't shared so far is that I had started to lose respect for myself. It was important for me, and me alone, to prove that I had the discipline to do this because I didn't think I had it any more. That drove me through the initial hard physical work of exercising. That drove me to increase my workouts for longer periods and increased frequency. That drove me to do what I said I would never be able to do and change my diet. It's crazy that I decided that playing virtual reality games would be the right formula for weight loss but it didn't matter because I found something I would keep doing. So the key is to find something that you will keep doing. It can be something as simple as taking a walk. Start out with a short walk once a week but do it every week. Once you're able, try taking a walk twice a week but stay with it. Once you're able, try taking a walk three times a week. You will be amazed at the motivation that success like this will provide. If exercise is not your cup of tea, try reducing your calories in whatever way that motivates you. Perhaps you like to cook. Find recipes that provide a tasty meal but with less calories than you normally consume.
Third, I think it is vital to get into the habit of weighing yourself regularly. For me, that began with a weekly weigh-in, which quickly became a daily event for a long time. However, many "experts" feel that weighing yourself daily can be a bad thing, as it is easier to lose your motivation as soon as you have a day where you gain weight. That didn't work that way for me but I understand why that would demotivate most people. At this point, I still weigh myself 3-4 times per week, and that helps me maintain vigilance on my weight. Keep in mind, you WILL gain weight some days even if you are doing everything right. (Sorry, this is a little gross but true.) Think about it, some days your bowel system isn't emptied so you keep weight temporarily that shows up as "weight gain." You can't let the realities of your body affect your motivation.
Fourth, be aware that weight loss takes time. Think about how much time you took to reach your current weight. You didn't get there in a few months, and you can't lose it all in a few weeks. When you first begin your regiment, you will likely lose a fair amount of weight your first week, maybe two. After that, it comes off s-l-o-w-l-y. I averaged losing about 2 pounds per week but I went at it pretty aggressively, ultimately combining exercise and diet. You may not lose that much. However, notice that, if you stay with it, you will lose a little weight most weeks. Give yourself time to be successful. Understand that you will gain weight some weeks. That's totally fine. It happens to everyone. Keep at it. Eventually, you will achieve the success you want, if you stay with it.
I tried to attack this as logically as I could because I felt this was the only way for me to achieve my goal. While I am not always logical, I do try to base my actions on logic. First, I needed to set my goal. I remembered that I was "around 145 pounds" when I was in college. Therefore, I felt that a good goal weight for my age (at the time, approaching 61) would be 150 pounds. That was the easy part. The most important part was to develop a strategy that would not only allow me to lose the weight but to keep the weight off for the rest of my life. I had no desire to lose the weight and, as so often happens, slowly gain the weight back over time. It was important for me to be honest with myself. I knew that dieting was not going to work for me. I had tried diets in the past, and I never experienced any significant weight loss with that strategy. I determined that I needed to exercise the weight off. Why did I choose what seems like an even less likely strategy? Even as out of shape as I was, I still enjoyed physical activity. I liked working hard enough to sweat, even though my excessive weight made this a reality with the lowest level of physicality. However, I also knew that running or going to a gym would not be viable options, at least for a while, given my excess weight would likely be tough on my knees and legs. In theory, I needed to find a way to "play" and burn the calories off. Since I have always considered myself an "adult child," I felt that this strategy could work for me long term, so I started looking at ways to play that would help me lose the weight without the need to diet. Basically, I wanted to burn the calories off so I could continue to eat as I wanted. I decided to start my weight loss plan on March 19, 2022.
After considering many options, I started looking hard at using virtual reality. It seemed like there were multiple "exercise apps" that offered both a fun way to lose the weight but also provide a game environment which I felt was critical to staying with this process. I talked to Maurica about it and, fortunately, she agreed to let me spend a fair amount of money on an Oculus Quest and a few apps to give it a try. For a variety of reasons, and because I'm cheap, I decided to use PowerBeats VR as my primary exercising app. It was a good decision because, to this day, I truly enjoy using this app. The basic idea is that you exercise to the beat of music. Your goal is to hit targets with your fist, follow "trails" with your hands and move around, avoiding obstacles that come at you, all while keeping the beat of the music. As a wannabe drummer, that was right up my alley. At first, my only option was the music supplied with the app (what I would call "electronic music," which I enjoy). However, this app also allows you two different ways to add your own music, and this took the app to a whole new level for me! In no time, I had over 100 different songs to which I was exercising! I was having a blast but, more importantly, I was losing weight. Initially, it was 3-4 pounds per week but it leveled off to around 2 pounds per week. This was exactly what I needed! I needed to prove to myself that (1) I had the motivation to stay with this plan, and (2) I had found a plan that could work.
My first sessions were 30 minutes and, let me tell you, I was completely exhausted at the end of these sessions. The app tracks the approximate calories burned, and I was burning around 250 calories per session. I worked out a few times a week but quickly moved to four times a week, which meant I was burning around 1,000 calories a week. This was a good start. Within a few weeks, I had moved my sessions up to an hour at a time, so I was doubling the amount of calories I was burning. Eventually, I moved to 90-minute sessions, which resulted in burning 750 calories per session, four times per week. Due to the success I was having, I would sometimes do five sessions per week. The weight was coming off, and this provided even more motivation to keep going.
Then, a funny thing happened, and I believe this directly related to the success I was having with my exercise routine. For the first time in my life, I was motivated to change my diet to improve the likelihood of losing all the weight and get to my goal. I began realizing that, eventually, I would be too old to exercise at this level, so I knew the only logical thing to do would be to develop a combination of an exercise regiment and a diet that I could maintain for the rest of my life. I replaced Big Red with iced tea, which eliminated a lot of calories. I also worked to eliminate almost all of the sweets in my life. I decided that the rest of my diet would primarily focus on reduced calorie intake. I set my goal at 1500 calories per day. In the beginning, I worked very hard to avoid any lapses in this goal. Occasionally, I had bad days but the success I had already experienced was enough motivation to get right back on track and stay with the low calorie plan.
The next part of my success came from a friend named Mark. We were talking one day, and I told him I was working on losing weight. Mark has always stayed in better shape than me, so he suggested that we maintain an online Google spreadsheet that tracked our weight loss, as he was interested in losing a few more pounds himself. He also shared with me that his goal was to reach 145 pounds. Since this was my weight from college, I decided I would drop my original weight loss goal from 150 to 145. This strategy turned out to be another strong motivator in keeping me committed to my goal, and I added two more friends to our weekly weigh-in. Every week, we would record our current weight, showing us how much weight we lost (or gained). It became a new way for me to focus my attention on achieving success. For 20 straight weeks, I recorded a weight loss before I had my first gain, when I gained almost two pounds. During this period, I went from 197.8 pounds to 154.2 pounds. However, I was so close to my goal of 145 pounds that I pushed hard those last few weeks, increasing my workouts to six days a week. On October 29, 2022, six months after I began my weight lost program, I achieved my goal, weighing in at 143.6 pounds. From my beginning weight of 212.2 pounds, I had lost 68.6 pounds in just over seven months!
Now I had a new test; could I keep the weight off? Losing that much weight is not easy but I knew that the real challenge would be to keep the weight off for the rest of my life. While the Google spreadsheet eventually became my solo project, it has provided adequate motivation (combined with my new found desire to stay as healthy as possible) to continue to monitor my weight and weigh in every week. To be honest, I have since decided that 145 pounds is too low (along with prodding from Maurica), so my lifetime goal is now to stay between 150 and 155 pounds. I also had a brief, stressful period right before I retired where I focused less on my weight and more on my mental health. However, I have met this goal most weeks to this day. I sometimes go over 155 but I'm usually back within my goal within 1-2 weeks. I try to give myself a break when that happens because I know I will be back on track and, so far, I have been. I have maintained this weight for over 19 months, to date, and I don't show any signs of letting up. My weight loss has given me a new life that blends well with retirement.
So, what have I gained through this process? For one, I was very happy to learn that I have the discipline needed to achieve and maintain this goal. To be honest, I doubted this when I began this process. I felt I had become too comfortable with life and, above all, that I lacked the type of discipline needed to attain this goal. Second, I am amazed at the level of stamina I have since losing the weight. I rarely become tired when doing any sort of physical activity. Granted, my age means that I am usually ready to go to bed at the end of every day. However, I have the energy to do whatever I want and usually for a lot longer than the average person. This has added much to my life. Third, I feel healthier than I have ever felt, despite my age. For the first time in my life, I want to have regular doctor visits and, so far, my doctor feels I am in pretty good shape, so I'm hoping that will result in a long, happy rest of my life. Of course, there are no guarantees when it comes to that, and I will be happy with any number of years I'm fortunate enough to achieve. Fourth, I can survive the summer Florida heat and humidity. I don't love it but I can survive it.
If I can be so bold, I'd like to share what I've learned through this process so that anyone who reads this who has made this decision might learn something from my experience. Obviously, this is based on my experiences. Your mileage may vary. First, you have to be the person motivated enough to commit to weight loss. No one else can make this happen; not your most beloved family members, not doctors trying to save your life, no one. To be frank, I couldn't care less about losing weight until around February of 2022. That is why all my previous attempts at losing weight and living a healthier life failed. It wasn't until it was important to me that I could expect any level of success.
Second, I honestly don't believe it matters what you do to lose weight, be it an exercise regiment or a diet or both, as long as you find a way to stay with it. That's the hardest part; finding the motivation to stay with it. What I haven't shared so far is that I had started to lose respect for myself. It was important for me, and me alone, to prove that I had the discipline to do this because I didn't think I had it any more. That drove me through the initial hard physical work of exercising. That drove me to increase my workouts for longer periods and increased frequency. That drove me to do what I said I would never be able to do and change my diet. It's crazy that I decided that playing virtual reality games would be the right formula for weight loss but it didn't matter because I found something I would keep doing. So the key is to find something that you will keep doing. It can be something as simple as taking a walk. Start out with a short walk once a week but do it every week. Once you're able, try taking a walk twice a week but stay with it. Once you're able, try taking a walk three times a week. You will be amazed at the motivation that success like this will provide. If exercise is not your cup of tea, try reducing your calories in whatever way that motivates you. Perhaps you like to cook. Find recipes that provide a tasty meal but with less calories than you normally consume.
Third, I think it is vital to get into the habit of weighing yourself regularly. For me, that began with a weekly weigh-in, which quickly became a daily event for a long time. However, many "experts" feel that weighing yourself daily can be a bad thing, as it is easier to lose your motivation as soon as you have a day where you gain weight. That didn't work that way for me but I understand why that would demotivate most people. At this point, I still weigh myself 3-4 times per week, and that helps me maintain vigilance on my weight. Keep in mind, you WILL gain weight some days even if you are doing everything right. (Sorry, this is a little gross but true.) Think about it, some days your bowel system isn't emptied so you keep weight temporarily that shows up as "weight gain." You can't let the realities of your body affect your motivation.
Fourth, be aware that weight loss takes time. Think about how much time you took to reach your current weight. You didn't get there in a few months, and you can't lose it all in a few weeks. When you first begin your regiment, you will likely lose a fair amount of weight your first week, maybe two. After that, it comes off s-l-o-w-l-y. I averaged losing about 2 pounds per week but I went at it pretty aggressively, ultimately combining exercise and diet. You may not lose that much. However, notice that, if you stay with it, you will lose a little weight most weeks. Give yourself time to be successful. Understand that you will gain weight some weeks. That's totally fine. It happens to everyone. Keep at it. Eventually, you will achieve the success you want, if you stay with it.
Before (2020) / After (2024)
Until my next entry…