Roger's Blog
A place to put my thoughts...
Old People...They're the Worst!
08/07/24 03:39 PM
When it was time to start looking for where we would live in Florida after retiring, I focused on 55+ communities for many reasons. First, I liked the idea of living with other retirees, knowing we'd have more in common with our neighbors in such a community. Second, the communities we looked at all had community centers and facilities that allowed me to more easily maintain an active lifestyle, such as pools, hot tubs, pickleball courts, pool tables and ping pong tables. Third, I thought that if I died first, Maurica would find more support in such a community than in a regular neighborhood. Fourth, we wouldn't have to worry about screaming children early in the morning or wild parties with young couples late at night. In a word, quiet. Overall, I saw lots of benefits of locating around other old people. Fortunately, we have found ourselves in a very friendly community, and I have no regrets for this strategy.
However, since there are multiple 55+ communities in my area, I interact with lots of retired people in my neighborhood stores and doctor offices and, I must say, there are a LOT of angry, bitter old people out there. Everyone has a bad day but, for the most part, I walk around in a very good mood. Every day I wake up and realize I don't have to go to work today. For the most part, I get to do what I want, when I want. Not every retired person has this opportunity but the vast majority of them do. So why do so many old people I see around town walk around with a frown or scowl on their face? Granted, some of them are going through medical situations that may not be any fun, so I give a certain percentage of them the benefit of the doubt. But so many of these angry people seem to be in good health, at least in good physical health. So what gives?
Today, I was at a grocery store and a woman next to me at the self-checkout counter had a major meltdown for no apparent reason. She began reading out loud the entire message on the screen that informed her that an attendant would be with her shortly. She started yelling, to no one in particular, "I'm not an idiot! Why isn't this working? This is bull****! This computer isn't working! This is a stupid computer!" First, I would question whether or not she was an idiot by the fact that (a) she needed to read the message out loud to understand it, (b) she was yelling at an inanimate object, and (c) she was freaking out because this was causing a slight delay in her life. She then proceeded to berate the worker that came over to help her, continuing to cuss at the inanimate object she was completely incapable of operating. During her rant, she informed everyone around her that "I always have problems with these computers!" Why in the world would you continue to go to the self-checkout counter if you have proven to yourself that you cannot use them? If that's not an indictment of idiotic behavior, it at least lacks wisdom, something a woman her age should not be so quick to display to everyone within earshot. It's no wonder that most workers cringe when they have to deal with old people like this. Unfortunately, the only people she apologized to was the gentleman on the other side of her, although saying she was sorry made no sense, due to the fact that this was all a willful act on her part. I wish this was an unusual situation but I have experienced far too many instances like this since moving to this area.
I simply don't understand why the first reaction from some older people to situations like this is rage. How about counting to ten? How about taking a deep breath? How about beginning with some personal responsibility? How about realizing that the people who are trying to help you with something you don't understand don't deserve your anger but, rather, your gratitude? I have made mistakes at the self-checkout counter before, and I always apologize to the worker that comes over, usually making a joke about being an old person dealing with computers. Almost every time, they are happy to help, and we enjoy a brief, healthy human interaction.
Mind you, the vast majority of people I come in contact with in our community seem to be happy, well-adjusted individuals that don't show their darker side at the drop of a hat, so I'm hoping these angry people are from the other communities in the area but there's no way of knowing. Most of the people I meet in my community have been through the variety of activities available, so perhaps these people don't act like that because those of us who remain "active" are, in general, happier people. Maybe these unhappy people spend all day in their homes with nothing to do and no one to share their day with. Maybe they were unhappy as young people and this is simply their next ugly stage. I don't know but I am starting to understand why old people get a bad rap from younger people. It's unfortunate that these are the type of incidents that stand out in their minds because I don't believe that's the mindset of most retired people in Florida. However, if the worker who dealt with this lady had three good encounters with old people today, the only one that will stand out will be the hateful one she had to deal with.
I realize that part of this problem is due to the fact that there is a lot of general rage in our society right now. We have drawn lines politically, economically and socially to separate ourselves from each other, and some of us have forgotten how to treat "others" like decent human beings should. I'm willing to give younger people a pass because they have the worries of work, marriage, children, the future, etc., but many of those worries are over for retirees or are at least are much less of an issue, so I'm less patient with them.
Personally, I'm happy to stay out of the way of those who haven't retired, donating as much blood as I can and, in general, trying to be as kind as I can to those around me. I don't always succeed but I always try. So do most of the retirees I interact with. It's just that small percentage of those who choose to be cranky, angry, hateful people. For those people, I offer a challenge. Remember how YOU felt about old people when you were young? It, too, was likely based on your interactions with a limited number of cranky, angry old people. My challenge is simple. Try not to be THAT old person.
Until my next entry…
However, since there are multiple 55+ communities in my area, I interact with lots of retired people in my neighborhood stores and doctor offices and, I must say, there are a LOT of angry, bitter old people out there. Everyone has a bad day but, for the most part, I walk around in a very good mood. Every day I wake up and realize I don't have to go to work today. For the most part, I get to do what I want, when I want. Not every retired person has this opportunity but the vast majority of them do. So why do so many old people I see around town walk around with a frown or scowl on their face? Granted, some of them are going through medical situations that may not be any fun, so I give a certain percentage of them the benefit of the doubt. But so many of these angry people seem to be in good health, at least in good physical health. So what gives?
Today, I was at a grocery store and a woman next to me at the self-checkout counter had a major meltdown for no apparent reason. She began reading out loud the entire message on the screen that informed her that an attendant would be with her shortly. She started yelling, to no one in particular, "I'm not an idiot! Why isn't this working? This is bull****! This computer isn't working! This is a stupid computer!" First, I would question whether or not she was an idiot by the fact that (a) she needed to read the message out loud to understand it, (b) she was yelling at an inanimate object, and (c) she was freaking out because this was causing a slight delay in her life. She then proceeded to berate the worker that came over to help her, continuing to cuss at the inanimate object she was completely incapable of operating. During her rant, she informed everyone around her that "I always have problems with these computers!" Why in the world would you continue to go to the self-checkout counter if you have proven to yourself that you cannot use them? If that's not an indictment of idiotic behavior, it at least lacks wisdom, something a woman her age should not be so quick to display to everyone within earshot. It's no wonder that most workers cringe when they have to deal with old people like this. Unfortunately, the only people she apologized to was the gentleman on the other side of her, although saying she was sorry made no sense, due to the fact that this was all a willful act on her part. I wish this was an unusual situation but I have experienced far too many instances like this since moving to this area.
I simply don't understand why the first reaction from some older people to situations like this is rage. How about counting to ten? How about taking a deep breath? How about beginning with some personal responsibility? How about realizing that the people who are trying to help you with something you don't understand don't deserve your anger but, rather, your gratitude? I have made mistakes at the self-checkout counter before, and I always apologize to the worker that comes over, usually making a joke about being an old person dealing with computers. Almost every time, they are happy to help, and we enjoy a brief, healthy human interaction.
Mind you, the vast majority of people I come in contact with in our community seem to be happy, well-adjusted individuals that don't show their darker side at the drop of a hat, so I'm hoping these angry people are from the other communities in the area but there's no way of knowing. Most of the people I meet in my community have been through the variety of activities available, so perhaps these people don't act like that because those of us who remain "active" are, in general, happier people. Maybe these unhappy people spend all day in their homes with nothing to do and no one to share their day with. Maybe they were unhappy as young people and this is simply their next ugly stage. I don't know but I am starting to understand why old people get a bad rap from younger people. It's unfortunate that these are the type of incidents that stand out in their minds because I don't believe that's the mindset of most retired people in Florida. However, if the worker who dealt with this lady had three good encounters with old people today, the only one that will stand out will be the hateful one she had to deal with.
I realize that part of this problem is due to the fact that there is a lot of general rage in our society right now. We have drawn lines politically, economically and socially to separate ourselves from each other, and some of us have forgotten how to treat "others" like decent human beings should. I'm willing to give younger people a pass because they have the worries of work, marriage, children, the future, etc., but many of those worries are over for retirees or are at least are much less of an issue, so I'm less patient with them.
Personally, I'm happy to stay out of the way of those who haven't retired, donating as much blood as I can and, in general, trying to be as kind as I can to those around me. I don't always succeed but I always try. So do most of the retirees I interact with. It's just that small percentage of those who choose to be cranky, angry, hateful people. For those people, I offer a challenge. Remember how YOU felt about old people when you were young? It, too, was likely based on your interactions with a limited number of cranky, angry old people. My challenge is simple. Try not to be THAT old person.
Until my next entry…